Read the collected works of Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens).
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Christian
Science
by Mark Twain
a.k.a. Samuel Clemens
(1835-1910)
Preface
| Book 1: 1 | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| 9 | Book 2: 1
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | 7
| 8 | 9
| 10 | 11
| 12 | 13
| 14 | 15
| Appendix A | Appendix
B | Appendix C | Appendix
D | Appendix E | Appendix
F | Conclusion
BOOK II
CHAPTER
III
Setting aside title-page,
index, etc., the little Autobiography begins on page 7 and ends on page 130.
My quotations are from the first forty pages. They seem to me to prove the presence
of the 'prentice hand. The style of the forty pages is loose and feeble and
'prentice-like. The movement of the narrative is not orderly and sequential,
but rambles around, and skips forward and back and here and there and yonder,
'prentice-fashion. Many a journeyman has broken up his narrative and skipped
about and rambled around, but he did it for a purpose, for an advantage; there
was art in it, and points to be scored by it; the observant reader perceived
the game, and enjoyed it and respected it, if it was well played. But Mrs. Eddy's
performance was without intention, and destitute of art. She could score no
points by it on those terms, and almost any reader can see that her work was
the uncalculated puttering of a novice.
In the above paragraph I
have described the first third of the booklet. That third being completed, Mrs.
Eddy leaves the rabbit-range, crosses the frontier, and steps out upon her far-spreading
big-game territory-- Christian Science and there is an instant change! The style
smartly improves; and the clumsy little technical offenses disappear. In these
two-thirds of the booklet I find only one such offence, and it has the look
of being a printer's error.
I leave the riddle with
the reader. Perhaps he can explain how it is that a person-trained or untrained--who
on the one day can write nothing better than Plague-Spot-Bacilli and feeble
and stumbling and wandering personal history littered with false figures and
obscurities and technical blunders, can on the next day sit down and write fluently,
smoothly, compactly, capably, and confidently on a great big thundering subject,
and do it as easily and comfortably as a whale paddles around the globe.
As for me, I have scribbled
so much in fifty years that I have become saturated with convictions of one
sort and another concerning a scribbler's limitations; and these are so strong
that when I am familiar with a literary person's work I feel perfectly sure
that I know enough about his limitations to know what he can not do. If Mr.
Howells should pretend to me that he wrote the Plague-Spot Bacilli rhapsody,
I should receive the statement courteously; but I should know it for a--well,
for a perversion. If the late Josh Billings should rise up and tell me that
he wrote Herbert Spencer's philosophies; I should answer and say that the spelling
casts a doubt upon his claim. If the late Jonathan Edwards should rise up and
tell me he wrote Mr. Dooley's books, I should answer and say that the marked
difference between his style and Dooley's is argument against the soundness
of his statement. You see how much I think of circumstantial evidence. In literary
matters--in my belief--it is often better than any person's word, better than
any shady character's oath. It is difficult for me to believe that the same
hand that wrote the Plague-Spot-Bacilli and the first third of the little Eddy
biography wrote also Science and Health. Indeed, it is more than difficult,
it is impossible.
Largely speaking, I have
read acres of what purported to be Mrs. Eddy's writings, in the past two months.
I cannot know, but I am convinced, that the circumstantial evidence shows that
her actual share in the work of composing and phrasing these things was so slight
as to be inconsequential. Where she puts her literary foot down, her trail across
her paid polisher's page is as plain as the elephant's in a Sunday-school procession.
Her verbal output, when left undoctored by her clerks, is quite unmistakable
It always exhibits the strongly distinctive features observable in the virgin
passages from her pen already quoted by me:
Desert vacancy,
as regards thought.
Self-complacency.
Puerility.
Sentimentality.
Affectations of scholarly learning.
Lust after eloquent and flowery expression.
Repetition of pet poetic picturesquenesses.
Confused and wandering statement.
Metaphor gone insane.
Meaningless words, used because they are pretty, or showy, or unusual.
Sorrowful attempts at the epigrammatic.
Destitution of originality.
The fat volume called Miscellaneous
Writings of Mrs. Eddy contains several hundred pages. Of the five hundred and
fifty-four pages of prose in it I find ten lines, on page 319, to be Mrs. Eddy's;
also about a page of the preface or "Prospectus"; also about fifteen
pages scattered along through the book. If she wrote any of the rest of the
prose, it was rewritten after her by another hand. Here I will insert two-thirds
of her page of the prospectus. It is evident that whenever, under the inspiration
of the Deity, she turns out a book, she is always allowed to do some of the
preface. I wonder why that is? It always mars the work. I think it is done in
humorous malice I think the clerks like to see her give herself away. They know
she will, her stock of usable materials being limited and her procedure in employing
them always the same, substantially. They know that when the initiated come
upon her first erudite allusion, or upon any one of her other stage-properties,
they can shut their eyes and tell what will follow. She usually throws off an
easy remark all sodden with Greek or Hebrew or Latin learning; she usually has
a person watching for a star--she can seldom get away from that poetic idea--sometimes
it is a Chaldee, sometimes a Walking Delegate, sometimes an entire stranger,
but be he what he may, he is generally there when the train is ready to move,
and has his pass in his hat-band; she generally has a Being with a Dome on him,
or some other cover that is unusual and out of the fashion; she likes to fire
off a Scripture-verse where it will make the handsomest noise and come nearest
to breaking the connection; she often throws out a Forefelt, or a Foresplendor,
or a Foreslander where it will have a fine nautical foreto'gallant sound and
make the sentence sing; after which she is nearly sure to throw discretion away
and take to her deadly passion, Intoxicated Metaphor. At such a time the Mrs.
Eddy that does not hesitate is lost:
"The ancient Greek
looked longingly for the Olympiad. The Chaldee watched the appearing of a star;
to him no higher destiny dawned on the dome of being than that foreshadowed
by signs in the heavens. The meek Nazarene, the scoffed of all scoffers, said,
'Ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the signs of the
times?'--for He forefelt and foresaw the ordeal of a perfect Christianity, hated
by sinners.
"To kindle all minds
with a gleam of gratitude, the new idea that comes welling up from infinite
Truth needs to be understood. The seer of this age should be a sage.
"Humility is the stepping-stone
to a higher recognition of Deity. The mounting sense gathers fresh forms and
strange fire from the ashes of dissolving self, and drops the world. Meekness
heightens immortal attributes, only by removing the dust that dims them. Goodness
reveals another scene and another self seemingly rolled up in shades, but brought
to light by the evolutions of advancing thought, whereby we discern the power
of Truth and Love to heal the sick.
"Pride is ignorance;
those assume most who have the least wisdom or experience; and they steal from
their neighbor, because they have so little of their own."--Miscellaneous
Writings, page 1, and six lines at top of page 2.
It is not believable that
the hand that wrote those clumsy and affected sentences wrote the smooth English
of Science and Health.
Preface
| Book 1: 1 | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| 9 | Book 2: 1
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | 7
| 8 | 9
| 10 | 11
| 12 | 13
| 14 | 15
| Appendix A | Appendix
B | Appendix C | Appendix
D | Appendix E | Appendix
F | Conclusion