by Peggy Edmund and Harold W. Williams, compilers
BOASTING
Maybe the man who boasts that he doesn't owe a dollar in the world couldn't if he tried.
"What sort of chap is he?"
"Well, after a beggar has touched him for a dime he'll tell you he 'gave a little dinner to an acquaintance of his.'"— R.R. Kirk
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WILLIE—"All the stores closed on the day my uncle died."
TOMMY—"That's nothing. All the banks closed for three weeks the day after my pa left town."— Puck
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Two men were boasting about their rich kin. Said one:
"My father has a big farm in Connecticut. It is so big that when he goes to the barn on Monday morning to milk the cows he kisses us all good-by, and he doesn't get back till the following Saturday."
"Why does it take him so long?" the other man asked.
"Because the barn is so far away from the house."
"Well, that may be a pretty big farm, but compared to my father's farm in Pennsylvania your father's farm ain't no bigger than a city lot!"
"Why, how big is your father's farm?"
"Well, it's so big that my father sends young married couples out to the barn to milk the cows, and the milk is brought back by their grandchildren."
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