by Peggy Edmund and Harold W. Williams, compilers
COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES
The college is a coy maid—
She has a habit quaint
Of making eyes at millionaires
And winking at the taint.
— Judge
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"What is a 'faculty'?"
"A 'faculty' is a body of men surrounded by red tape."— Cornell Widow
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Yale University is to have a ton of fossils. Whether for the faculty or for the museums is not announced.— The Atlanta Journal
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FIRST TRUSTEE—"But this ancient institution of learning will fail unless something is done."
SECOND TRUSTEE—"True; but what can we do? We have already raised the tuition until it is almost 1 per cent of the fraternity fees."— Puck
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The president of the university had dark circles under his eyes. His cheek was pallid; his lips were trembling; he wore a hunted expression.
"You look ill," said his wife. "What is wrong, dear?"
"Nothing much," he replied. "But—I—I had a fearful dream last night, and I feel this morning as if I—as if I—" It was evident that his nervous system was shattered.
"What was the dream?" asked his wife.
"I—I—dreamed the trustees required that—that I should—that I should pass the freshman examination for—admission!" sighed the president.
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